Steve Biddulph, the popular parenting guru and bestselling author with a successful career in family therapy has long been critical about center-based child care. After investigating the growing number of scientific studies on this subject, Biddhulph emphasizes the best we can do for our children during the first three years of their life is to provide them with a one-to-one care from a loving and caring person (be it parent, close relative or, if necessary, a single, attentive paid care giver). This holds true especially for boys, who are on average more prone to separation anxiety.
Why Daycare May Be Advisable
However, the reality is that many parents do put their children in day care for different reasons like financial pressures (demanding that both parents work) or a strong personal need to pursue one’s career. Single parents are often left with no other option but to go to work. Besides, since child-rearing parents are more or less isolated from the rest of society due to lack of social contacts from going to work, going out and so on, many mothers and fathers suffer from depression as a result. In all these cases, sending kids to daycare and in order to take a (part-time) job or spend some time doing enjoyable things may be the far better alternative.
Until the present situation is improved and daycare becomes more child-friendly and all parents who wish to do so are enabled to stay home to take care of their own children, Steve Biddulph’s advice on child care may give some orientation for parents and help to find an option that works for them.
What's Best by Age
- Babies/Infants (Age 0-1) In the first year, Biddulph advises parents strongly to keep the baby with a parent or close relative and to limit babysitting to short breaks with only one trusted babysitter.
- Toddlers Age 1-2 According to Biddulph, parents may introduce one short day with a trusted carer at this age – ideally a one-on-one carer to child ratio or one-to-three at most.
- Toddlers Age 2-3 At this stage, care may be extended to two short days a week with a trusted carer. You may also start building up to short days in a quality center - but only if the child settles well.
- Children Age 3-5 Children of this age can spend half days in a daycare center that offers quality care. This means: The center should offer a low carer to child ratio, a natural environment that inspires creative play, a well structured day, good acoustics (sound proofing to bring down noise levels) and avoid exposure to TV, computers and other media.
Care Options in Order of Preference
If you can’t care for your child yourself, here are Biddulph’s care options in order of preference.
- The first step should be to ask a close relative or friend. It should be a person you trust and who enjoys being with your child.
- If that’s not possible, you can employ a trustworthy family day carer who is able to respond to your child individually and frequently.
- Finding a quality day-care center with stable staff will be your last option. Avoid an abrupt start – start with short periods and accompany your child for the first day(s).
Whatever your care option will be, bear in mind that the quality of parenting is far more important than that of the childcare. That means, you need to find an option that will leave everyone satisfied – including yourself. Unhappy, depressed stay-at-home parents should consider finding an arrangement that suits them more because this will ultimately benefit the child as well.
Mummy and Daddy Are the Best
However, the first years are crucial for the development of your child and your relationship with her. If you enjoy doing so, the best thing that can happen to your child is being taken care of by you. And watching your child grow up will be one of the most wonderful experiences for you to cherish.
Sources and Related Reading
- Steve Biddulph. Raising Babies: Why Your Love is Best. Harper Thorsons, 2011.
- The Negative Effects of Daycare on Small Children. Suite101-article by Martin Bohn.
- Day care is bad for babies – Biddulph Article by Paola Totaro, published in the Sidney Morning Herald in March, 2006.
Martin Bohn - As a certified yoga teacher, I enjoy freelancing for various yoga magazines in different countries. In my main profession, I work as a ...
